Well that’s it folks, all the calls have come in and at least fifty times people were able to see through a foggy alcoholic haze and dial the number. The 2008 St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial is over.

Before you scroll to the winners, first we would like to thank the following people: Crystal for her beautiful voice which lead to so many drunken people swooning over her in messages, the co-judges Mike and Ed for their patience in listening to sometimes mindless ravings, Joanna Stern of Laptop Magazine for picking up the story and Jeff Gilhooly of CBC for broadcasting us in Newfoundland.

We also want to thank you all, every one of you who phoned or visited the web site. We especially appreciate all the messages that were left over the three day period. Well done.

If you didn’t win, you have a year of drunken dialing to practice. We’ll leave the number open and if you want to practice, leave us a message, if it’s funny we might publicize it. Remember 2009 is only 3650 pints away, give or take a liver!

This year we thought we would invite the august Saint Patrick himself to judge your entries. He sat in our living room, miter in hand, a pint in another and regaled us with comments. So without further ado, let the Saint pass judgement…

WARNING: Many entries contain explicit language and graphic descriptions. Most are not suitable for children.

Saint Patrick decided to split the prize into two portions…

Grand Prize Winner – Bottle of Newfoundland Screech Rum

A fairy tale from Chicago, a toast to the great Saint, sent in from Honokaa, Hawaii by Dan Niederloh. He phoned after a 6 pack of Guinness and some Bushmills while being egged on by his children, whom he obviously raised well. The Saint salutes your original composition! Listen to Dan

Second Prize Winner – (Ad revenue of ummm about $15)

Yes, the good Saint honestly had to give himself a prize. He felt his call, as voiced by Craig Welsh of Nunavut, Canada deserved the money that he so eloquently requested. Apparently being a saint doesn’t pay the bills these days. Listen to Craig

St Patrick is honoured

• California, USA (323)
  - Sorry, St. Patrick is laughing at you anyway…
• Oklahoma, USA (918)
  - St. Patrick agrees with your wife
• St Louis, Missouri, USA (636)
  - St. Patrick really didn’t want to know this much about you…
• California, USA (310)
  - St. Patrick says trust your drunken instincts
• Ottawa, Canada
  - St. Patrick appreciated your drunken efforts even if it was a little late.

St. Patrick is calling Child Protection Services

• Omaha Nebraska, USA (402)
  - If mommy and daddy are too drunk to phone the drunk dial and their child does it, is it a drunk dial? The rules never considered this eventuality.
• St. Phillips, NL, Canada (709)
  - Drs. McKim, having your mother call also does not constitute a drunk dial (We love you Mary!).

St. Patrick would share a pint with you

• California, USA (310)
  - St. Patrick wants to be invited to the next Jacuzzi party and he will bring a new needle.
• Unknown Location
  - St. Patrick salutes your brave if futile efforts to organize your drunken posse.
• Nebraska, USA (402)
  - St. Patrick welcomes constructive criticism
• Unknown Location
  - St. Patrick likes drunken fan girls, but don’t tell the Lord.
• St. Louis, Missouri, USA (636)
  - St. Patrick can’t buy you a mobile home either but appreciates your efforts
• New Jersey, USA (732)
  - Learn more about Slava the Russian than you ever wanted to know.
• California, USA (949)
  - St. Patrick’s driving license was suspended a few years ago…
• Phoenix Arizona, USA
  - St. Patrick loves all his drunken children
• California, USA (209)
  - Is this Yoda on a bender?
• Seattle, Washington, USA (425)
  - There must be some mistake, St Patrick doesn’t have a scorpion tattoo on his inner thigh.
• Phoenix Arizona, USA
  - St. Patrick says the Finnish know how to drink, they are honourary Irish.
• Cologne, Germany
  - St. Patrick appreciates coming-home-from-Church Dial and drinking for three
• California, USA (310)
  - St. Patrick says don’t fight there’s plenty of beer to go around.
• Seattle, Washington, USA (206)
  - St. Patrick thinks you just sound drunk
• Edmonton, Alberta, Canada (780) (1)
  Edmonton, Alberta, Canada (780) (2)
  - St. Patrick appreciates drunk Edmontonians, but he is not French

St. Patrick is having Andrew and Karin’s (Nebraska) number blocked

• Karin 1
  Andrew 1
  Andrew 2
  Andrew 3
  Karin 2
  Andrew 4
  - St. Patrick reminds Karin of the restraining order he has against her and says we should all go on Jerry Springer
• Andrew
  - Regrettably, St. Patrick does not think you are sexy.
• Andrew
  - St. Patrick says, yes, he can see the number…
• Andrew
  - St. Patrick agrees, you are master of the obvious
• Andrew
  - St. Patrick was happy this was the final call, he was about to call the police.

St. Patrick Thinks These People Need More Practice

• California, USA (310)
  - St. Patrick shares your dislike of the British Crown
• Pennsylvania, USA (215)
  - St. Patrick says practice before you call
• Idaho, USA (208)
  - Sorry buddy, St. Patrick isn’t into health food.
• Edinburgh, Scotland
  - St. Patrick appreciates the call, but notes that Niall is not drunk enough yet. What a difference a year makes.
• Oklahoma, USA (918)
  - St. Patrick does not get involved with politics
• Phoenix, Arizona, USA (918)
  - St. Patrick would like to hire you as his Director of Marketing.
• Idaho, USA (208)
  - Although he is catholic, St. Patrick has no problem with your life style choices
• California, USA (310)
  - St. Patrick never waits in lines
• California, USA (310)
  - (Warning Extremely Explicit) - St. Patrick reminds his followers that wild exaggeration is a sin.
• Oklahoma, USA (918)
  - St. Patrick doesn’t hate catholics
• Unknown Location
  - Yo Yo Yo, St P. is in da house!
• Sacramento, CA, USA (916)
  - St Patrick wants to give him the number of Slava the Russian
• Pennsylvania, USA (412)
  - St Patrick gives the award for accurate time keeping
• Oregon, USA (503)
  - St Patrick says short and to no point

St. Patrick may be divine but he can’t read your mind

• Nebraska, USA (402) (1)
  Nebraska, USA (402) (2)
  Nebraska, USA (402) (3)
  Nebraska, USA (402) (4)
  - St. Patrick thinks Andrew has lost his mind and would remind him to stop licking photographs
• Unknown Location
  - St. Patrick is concerned about this individual, but he isn’t breaking up with you.
• Florida, USA (863)
  - We wonder what language this is…
• Texas, USA (832)
  - Really WTF?
• Idaho, USA (208)
  - German sausage?
• California, USA (310)
  - St Patrick wonders what you really want to do?
• Virginia, USA (703)
  - WTF?

St. Patrick wonders why these people left the phone off the hook

• Pennsylvania, USA (610)
  - (10 mins and nothing but some fiddling sometimes…)
• Unknown Location
  - (Sounds like a call center, this is what workers do during work hours…)

Right, unbelievably the 2008 St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial has come to an end!

You’re looking for the winners right? Okay. Tomorrow night (March 19th/20th) we will place ALL the entries online. We will contact the winners tomorrow and let them know before the posting happens.

If you left us a message, it will now be saved for perpetuity on this web site.

Thanks to everyone who participated this year. Please note that we judge every entry that does not have the judges involved. We also comment and categorize EVERY entry. Yes it takes time, and it takes dedication, but that’s what a couple of pints, a laptop and a good old pub will get you!

Remember come back in about 36 hours for the winners, and for those that didn’t participate this year… mark your calendar, we’ll be back bigger and better in 2009!

Yes folks, we are leaving the competition open for two more hours. At noon Eastern Time, the competition for the 2008 St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial will be officially closed. Some stats: as of this morning we had well over 100 calls into the Drunk Dial telephone number, and almost half of them left a message. Some of them extremely coherent, some of the extremely INcoherent.

We are sorely disappointed, however, that Newfoundlanders living in Newfoundland and Labrador from whence we all came are quite under-represented. So if you are having a mid afternoon pint at a pub, give us a call will ya?

Remember two more hours only…

Folks, a quick update here that the CBC Radio Interview with the St. John’s Morning Show is now online (you need RealPlayer btw). My friend Craig Welsh (who has been the recipient of many of my drunk dials over the years and now lives in Nunavut) and I chat with host Jeff Gilhooly about the St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial.

By the way as added incentive for those on the fence… Craig did actually submit an entry this year!

Check out the interview and now, one final call for entrants for the 2008 Drunk Dial. Wherever you are, give us a call, tell us a story, sing us a song.

Okay so you have two nights left to get your entries in. So first a status update then a teaser Drunk Dial recording…

I will say that this first officially public St. Patrick’s Drunk Dial has been just AMAZING… we have many more entries and lots of people phoning in to just hear our voice greeting.

So Monday March 17th is the Feast Day of Saint Patrick. This is it folks. This is what Guinness has had you training for all year. Now put your wit and clumsy dialing fingers to the test and give us a call and tell us about it. Or, tell us a story, sing us a song…

Don’t call your spouse with a drink in your hand, call us: +1 317-644-6963

So you want to know what the entries are like? Well, I saw on some message board that people were wondering if we would give ourselves the prize. Well, categorically, the people who will be judging will not be allowed to judge any entry they appear or have a hand in.

So in that spirit and to encourage better drunk dials, here’s one from my St. Patrick’s Day Party. We had Rockband going and someone suggested I sing Faith No More’s Epic like my dad might do it.

So here is Dups and Mike Mannion’s entry for the 2008 St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial in the “not going to win a prize” category:

• Epic by Dups No More (MP3)

I hereby officially declare the 2008 St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial Open for business. Entries are trickling, don’t miss out… St. Patrick is waiting… Go have a Guinness, enjoy a good jig and give us a call at +1 317 644-6963

Let the festivities commence!

Right… looks like the big day is upon us.

Get ready to rumble folks… time to put that drunk dialing to good use!!!!

St. Patrick needs you!

Montreal, QC, Canada – 16 February 2008 – Today marks the world-wide launch of the campaign for the St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial, now in its fourth year. The Drunk Dial asks all St. Patrick’s Day celebrants, between March 15th and 17th 2008, around the world to take a single phone number with them as they party and carouse. People from all over the world can call into the telephone number and leave a message. The funniest and “funnest” will be rewarded!

“After three years of fun, we’re going to do the 2008 Drunk Dial bigger and better than ever!” said organizer Dups of Montreal, Quebec.

This year the telephone number is +1 317 644 6963. Dups warns that there will be long distance charges to the United States but should otherwise be a regular phone call for participants. This year, the organizers intend to give away a portion of any advertising revenue from the web site (http://www.stpatsdrunkdial.com) as well as the customary bottle of Newfoundland Screech Rum.

Dups also noted the public service that the Drunk Dial tries to provide.

“For years I was one of those poor sots who called his friends late night on St. Pat’s Day after having had a few. One year I became a pariah and there were calls for a public castration for all my drunken dialing. Imagine the friendships and relationships that we are saving!”

St. Patrick’s Day has become an international celebration of epic proportions no matter ethnicity, creed, color or the quality of the Guinness. Said Niall Brown, another organizer:

“I think people can identify with a man who got rid of an infestation of snakes. I mean if you woke up in the middle of the night and your country was infested with snakes, wouldn’t you want to celebrate the man who got rid of them. Heck, I’d have a couple drinks in his honor. I’d even call and tell someone about it, and that’s what the Drunk Dial is all about.”

Whether it’s about snakes, drinking or just a phone call to tell us how St. Patrick’s Day is going for you: have fun and give us a call at +1 317 644 6963.

More information about the Drunk Dial and the rules are available at: http://www.stpatsdrunkdial.com

About the St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial

The St. Patrick’s Drunk Dial began in 2005 with all of Dups’ friends calling him from around the world on St. Patrick’s Day. Sadly he was too inebriated to remember who won that first year. In subsequent years the reach and popularity of the event has spread far and wide and now we want 2008 to be the biggest year ever! For more information e-mail info@stpatsdrunkdial.com or visit http://www.stpatsdrunkdial.com

And so we come to the end of another St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial. So who won this year? I can honestly say the winner is none other than the Queen of England broadcasting from Edmonton, Alberta. For her entry, she will receive a bottle of Newfoundland Screech that will be delivered by special mail to Buckingham Palace (and if you think I’m joking, never fear…).

This year we saw so many entrants from Montreal alone that I have decided that the best entry in Montreal shall receive a special mention. So without further ado here are your entrants in the 2007 St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Dial. Vote for who you think deserves the prize (outside of the Queen) and I shall personally hand out a second bottle of Screech if they show up to Montreal for 2008. Yes you heard that right, we’ll be repeating all this in 2008.

Niall Brown wins the “Honourable Mention” for the most entries ever flooded into the Drunk Dial system with his calls from Montreal! A big thank you to Mike Mannion for putting us all up. I can honestly submit that St. Patrick’s in Montreal 2007 was for so many incredible reasons, one of the best weekends of my life.

You will need Apple Quicktime to listen to these messages

Outside of Montreal Entrants

• “The Queen of England”, Edmonton, Canada (Winner!)
• “The Pirate Patricks”, St. John’s, Newfoundland
• “Not Drunk enough”, Singapore
• “Baptised with spit”, Shanghai, China
• “The Stomach Flu”, St. John’s, Newfoundland
• “You don’t need anymore Screech!”, Berlin, Germany
• “An Irish song”, Los Angeles, United States

Montreal (in order received and ascending drunkenness)

• “Gonna get loaded”
• “Please send some Screech. Please.”
• “The breaking of the couch” (My Favourite)
• Denial
• “Nice evening in Montreal”
• “Hallo Drunk Dial, I’ve missed you…”
• “You talkin’ to me?”
• “No Anchovies”
• “The Jeebus Exorcism of an American”
• “The Worst Band Ever”
• “The girl might get hepatitis”
• Gerry’s Pub
• “Niall is my love child”
• McKibbon’s Irish Pub
• St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Dave Arenillas also sent me a question regarding why there are no postings of the first ever Drunk Dial. After all the 2006 winners are posted. You see, I instituted the Drunk Dial in 2005 and had everyone phone me. The winner would be decided by me who was receiving the calls. Unfortunately, there was a small snag in the plan. You see, I had decided to partake in the competition as well. Sadly two drunks don’t make a sober. Instead I vaguely remember falling down on icy streets and distinctly remember the conversation at 7am with Westjet:

“umm, I can’t believe I’m phoning like this but, I seem to not be at the airport right now and my plane is leaving in 10 mins… unfortunately the room is also still spinning.”

A year ago in 2005, my friends and I decided to hold a drunk dialing competition on St. Patrick’s Day. Amongst my friends I am a (in)famous drunk dialer. I believe Craig Welsh laid down the ultimatum one day and said that unless I was dying, don’t call after midnight. His wife (girlfriend at the time) Cathy reiterated that I would be punished to all levels that exist in hell.

Last year, everyone called me. That went out of hand pretty quick. This year I set up a free voicemail account and had everyone phone into the number. The advantage is that you all get to listen to these messages. What’s the prize? Well, I can’t even recognize everyone, but if everyone e-mails me and says that a particular message is worth a prize, I will send a bottle of rum to them. Considering that alcohol has problems crossing borders, I may need to work out a different way of getting it there.

For the record, we have people from Singapore, Berlin (Germany), Omaha NB, Montreal, PEI, Quebec City, Fredericton NB, Edmonton AB, and Los Angeles CA. If I’ve missed a location, apologies. Not bad. I suspect we will try again next year. So without further ado, here are your contest participants.

• Los Angeles
• Andrew, Omaha, Nebraska
• Edmonton, Alberta
• I have no idea who this is…
• Jason and Michelle, Berlin, Germany
• Keli, Singapore
• Edmonton, Alberta
• Anne-Marie, Quebec City, Quebec(WINNER)
• I have no idea who this is but the person is from Cork?
• Heather, Fredericton, New Brunswick
• Another call from Quebec City!
• Edmonton, Alberta
• Niall, Rebecca, Ed, Mike, Montreal, Quebec
• Niall, Rebecca, Mike, Montreal St. Patrick’s Day Parade Part 1
• Niall, Rebecca, Mike, Montreal St. Patrick’s Day Parade Part 2
• Niall, Rebecca, Mike, Montreal St. Patrick’s Day Parade Part 3